Thursday, July 23, 2015

If Only I Could

               I recently read an online article about the feelings that those back home have when a close friend or family members moves to a far away country. It described feelings of dejection and aloneness. Maybe even implying that the one who moved away did not care much for those “back home.” I have been thinking a lot about that article and how I believe it to be true, but only half of the story. Because, what people may not realize is that those who have gone far from home have similar feelings. It hurts to think that I am not going to be there to see my niece until she is almost one year old. I feel like a bad friend when I am unable to go to a dear friend’s wedding. I wonder if I seem like a stranger to some of my best friends when I haven’t seen them in months or years. I am torn to imagine that maybe I am going to miss the last family reunion that my grandparents will attend. It is not that I don’t want to be a part of those things; rather it is if only I could be a part of all of them. However, I feel that God has given me a call to serve Him in a place that happens to be far from where I was. And I am learning to trust that He has a wise plan for my future and would not lead me so if He felt there was a better way. It would be easy for me to move back home, find a “normal job”, and attend all those specials events. Life as a missionary is by no means easy. Learning who you are and figuring out all your faults is not very comfortable. Trying to live with others who are going through the same process makes it even more complicated. But through it all, I am glad that God is refining me. Sometimes I wish that a piece of the birthday cake could be saved for me in the freezer, and when I come home the next time I can eat it and look at pictures and hear stories about how it all happened. Sometimes I wish that I could teleport myself to my grandparents’ house for family reunion so that I could see my whole family together once again. Sometimes, I wish that I had unlimited Internet so that I could at least video Skype with all my friends and family back home. Reality doesn’t always fulfill my wishes, but I understand better all the time how God seems to work out everything in His perfect timing. So when I cannot be there on your special day, please remember that I am thinking of you and praying that God gives you success in whatever you may do for Him.

1 comment:

  1. It's so true. It is difficult being the one far away when the rest of your family & friends are together... But the most important thing is being in the center of God's will.