If Only I Could

               I recently read an online article about the feelings that those back home have when a close friend or family members moves to a far away country. It described feelings of dejection and aloneness. Maybe even implying that the one who moved away did not care much for those “back home.” I have been thinking a lot about that article and how I believe it to be true, but only half of the story. Because, what people may not realize is that those who have gone far from home have similar feelings. It hurts to think that I am not going to be there to see my niece until she is almost one year old. I feel like a bad friend when I am unable to go to a dear friend’s wedding. I wonder if I seem like a stranger to some of my best friends when I haven’t seen them in months or years. I am torn to imagine that maybe I am going to miss the last family reunion that my grandparents will attend. It is not that I don’t want to be a part of those things; rather it is if only I could be a part of all of them. However, I feel that God has given me a call to serve Him in a place that happens to be far from where I was. And I am learning to trust that He has a wise plan for my future and would not lead me so if He felt there was a better way. It would be easy for me to move back home, find a “normal job”, and attend all those specials events. Life as a missionary is by no means easy. Learning who you are and figuring out all your faults is not very comfortable. Trying to live with others who are going through the same process makes it even more complicated. But through it all, I am glad that God is refining me. Sometimes I wish that a piece of the birthday cake could be saved for me in the freezer, and when I come home the next time I can eat it and look at pictures and hear stories about how it all happened. Sometimes I wish that I could teleport myself to my grandparents’ house for family reunion so that I could see my whole family together once again. Sometimes, I wish that I had unlimited Internet so that I could at least video Skype with all my friends and family back home. Reality doesn’t always fulfill my wishes, but I understand better all the time how God seems to work out everything in His perfect timing. So when I cannot be there on your special day, please remember that I am thinking of you and praying that God gives you success in whatever you may do for Him.

Cyclone

We are on a week break between 1^st and 2^nd semester. Some students have gone home, but most are still here. This afternoon, as I was cleaning the house, a storm started to build up. I went out on the veranda to try and enjoy the cool breeze. Suddenly, it became a super violent storm with high-speed winds, torrential rains, and hail. I noticed that some of the kids were out collecting fallen mangos, but they could not hear my screams to find shelter. I rushed downstairs to get them into safety. I told all the girls to go up to the hostel, but found that we could not walk along the veranda because of strong winds and hail. The water was rushing like a river down the stairs from the roof. Chilling, ankle-deep water covered our path to the hostel. When we finally got through, we found the bathroom was backing up and flooding the hostel. The girls instantly started working to move the water out of their home. I hurried to my house to discover a soaked bed, Bible and floor. I managed to close the windows against the strong winds. All the wet things were for sure ruined, especially my Bible. I put it on the dry couch and rushed back to aid in the girls’ bathroom disaster. With the help of the boys, they were able to get the water level down. However, the small girls’ dean’s apartment is under construction and, consequently, very open. With more help from the boys, we were able to remove most of the water. As I headed back to my house, I dreaded the thought of what my waterlogged Bible would look like. A feeling of relief and extreme thankfulness swept over me as I saw that not even one page was damp!

            Two of our big mango trees fell, but no one was hurt. A number of windows were shattered, but none hurt. The electricity is out and a water pipe burst, but all are safe in the arms of God. “Under His wings you shall take refuge.” Ps. 91:4

Gratitude

            In India, there are so many people. You will almost never go more than 0.5 seconds without seeing or hearing someone. This is quite a challenge from a country girl who is used to going for hours without ever hearing a car pass or seeing another person. Last Sabbath, my friend and I went for a little picnic to try and get as far away as possible from all the noise and people. Consequently, we walked over a mile to get there. We finally settled on a small hill shaded by a small tree and overlooking a cow pasture. The only noise was the sound of the water pump carrying water to the rice paddies. The only people to be seen were on pathways far from us. I almost forgot that I was in India, but not quite.

            We were able to enjoy a simple lunch and a few minutes of relaxation. As we were getting packed up to leave, we noticed an older woman walking through the field. On her head she carried a large bowl. Inside the bowl one could see cow pies stacked up. Many of the women in this country will mix the dung with their hands then form patties to be left in the sun to dry. These dried patties can then be burned as fuel for the fire. She, obviously, was collecting her supplies to continue her work. As we saw her from afar, we motioned for her to come closer. She hesitantly came over to us. We took out the unused bread, left over tomatoes, and uneaten watermelon to share with her. She reached out her filth covered hands with such gratitude as tears streamed down her sun-aged face. No words could be shared with her, but in reality, I think that our hug was more than words could say.

Humbleness

            This last weekend we had communion with the students. Like in America, we split up the girls and the boys for the actual washing part. One of the little girls asked if she could do it with me so I agreed. After we had each washed the other’s feet, we sat and waited for the others to finish. Unbeknownst to me, another woman wanted to wash my feet. One little difficulty was that she didn’t speak English so I could not mention to her that I had a partner. She proceeded to pray for me then wash my feet. The part that hit me the most, was that after she washed and dried my feet, she kissed both of them. It really made a strong impression on me that a woman, or better said a complete stranger, was willing to give her very best to me. I was inspired to realize that I should be willing to give my very best for a stranger if God grants me opportunity. I pray that you would be willing as well.

A New Home

     Would you believe it? I have really become a part of MOVE and moved to a different country. Can you guess where I live now? I’ll give you a few hints.

1)    They drive on the left side of the road.

2)    Most of them in this area speak Bengali.

3)    I am now 11.5 hrs ahead of Belize.

4)    I live a few countries west of my sister Rachel.

5)    I am at the same school that one of my fellow MOVE missionaries was at years ago.

Did you figure out where I am?

      I want to share with you the sure working of God in this whole change. There were five teachers this last fall in our second program at MOVE: Jeff, Keila, Phoebe, Tanzi, and myself. More like there is one trained teacher and the rest of us are learning to be teachers. Towards the end of the program, Fawna told me about the great need at this school where she had been a student missionary. She encouraged me to find out more from the mission project. I emailed and talked to various people but knew that it was going to be only God who could work it all out. I flew to Ohio on February 1. *God works in amazing ways because He sent another teacher to MOVE just days after I left. She, Yanet, is also going to be doing the finances and other office business.* I sent in my completed application on the 2^nd and was expecting to hear back from the visa group about 2-3 weeks later. My visa was approved and ready to be sent back by the 6^th, only 4 days later! There was a slight problem trying to get it returned, but my dad was able to figure out the dilemma. My visa arrived and I bought a ticket all within the next week or so. And now here I am, 25 days later, in my new home.

            
     This change was not easy, though. I still wonder what great plans God has in mind to get me to leave my family and MOVE to a new place. Is there something very important that I need to learn that I could not have learned in Belize? Do I have something standing between God and myself that I wouldn’t have seen at MOVE? Should I get a little taste of the bitter parting that Jesus felt as He went to a far away and foreign world in order to save sinners like myself? I still don’t have all those answers, but I trust God will reveal them in His perfect timing.